Behind Enemy lines
It was 2 years in the making. After all the hesitations and suspense, the inevitable encounter happened. We existed under one roof for the first time. I never thought that courting a girl would be that exciting especially when it would be the first time you'll be introduced to the big boss man. My heart was pounding as I waited in the dinning table and stared at the white door. Behind it was the person I was looking forward to meet. I don’t know if we shared the same enthusiasm, but what the hell, I was already there, there's no turning back.
I was officially courting someone that night. There was no “us” at that place and at that time. Both of us were just friends and I was still on the stage of courting. I found that very funny and exciting.
Even though the television was playing angel locsin running, my eyes was glued to the boring white door. After a few deep breaths to calm the tension, the door finally opened. It was like what i pictured him to be, Chinese. I stared at him and waited for the eye contact, so I can gauge the situation. He looked to the left, then to the right like he was looking for something. Then when it seemed he found what he was looking for, he went straight to the exit. The eye contact never happened. I guess, both of us weren’t ready for that kind of encounter. The tension was too much and there was no eye contact. The only contact that happened was between my eyes and his back as he walked out of the house. I smiled as he passed by me without any warm greeting. Just like in the movies, everything went in slow motion, as he passed by me. Then it returned to normal when I saw mikes face smiling at me in the background and doing the waving goodbye gesture at his father. It made me forget what had just happened as I observed his chinky eyes getting more “chinkier” as he smiled. It's as if he was saying “better luck next time”. I smiled at him.
A lot of things lingered in my mind when the invitation came. I thought of two possible scenarios. One was that everything would go smoothly and be accepted and second, that we’ll be back to the old drawing board and try our luck next time. The latter means, going on TNT (tago ng tago) mode again.
I feel weird up to now when I assess my thoughts about these two scenarios. As much as I wanted to go with the positive result, a part of me wanted the second. I know it’s weird and kind of selfish but that’s what I really feel. I realized that I got used to the TNT mode and considered it as a spice of our relationship. All these years together was like a spy game where I always need to hide. I could even recall a time where I concealed my nationality and became a Chinese for a day to infiltrate a house which I considered the Forbidden city. Then there was a time when I changed my identity when the big boss man answered the phone. I found those things scary yet exciting.
I don’t know if that kind of encounter would happen again. But based on what happened that night, the situation is still hostile and I still need to move behind the shadows.
I’m BATMAN.
Ayun.
I was officially courting someone that night. There was no “us” at that place and at that time. Both of us were just friends and I was still on the stage of courting. I found that very funny and exciting.
Even though the television was playing angel locsin running, my eyes was glued to the boring white door. After a few deep breaths to calm the tension, the door finally opened. It was like what i pictured him to be, Chinese. I stared at him and waited for the eye contact, so I can gauge the situation. He looked to the left, then to the right like he was looking for something. Then when it seemed he found what he was looking for, he went straight to the exit. The eye contact never happened. I guess, both of us weren’t ready for that kind of encounter. The tension was too much and there was no eye contact. The only contact that happened was between my eyes and his back as he walked out of the house. I smiled as he passed by me without any warm greeting. Just like in the movies, everything went in slow motion, as he passed by me. Then it returned to normal when I saw mikes face smiling at me in the background and doing the waving goodbye gesture at his father. It made me forget what had just happened as I observed his chinky eyes getting more “chinkier” as he smiled. It's as if he was saying “better luck next time”. I smiled at him.
A lot of things lingered in my mind when the invitation came. I thought of two possible scenarios. One was that everything would go smoothly and be accepted and second, that we’ll be back to the old drawing board and try our luck next time. The latter means, going on TNT (tago ng tago) mode again.
I feel weird up to now when I assess my thoughts about these two scenarios. As much as I wanted to go with the positive result, a part of me wanted the second. I know it’s weird and kind of selfish but that’s what I really feel. I realized that I got used to the TNT mode and considered it as a spice of our relationship. All these years together was like a spy game where I always need to hide. I could even recall a time where I concealed my nationality and became a Chinese for a day to infiltrate a house which I considered the Forbidden city. Then there was a time when I changed my identity when the big boss man answered the phone. I found those things scary yet exciting.
I don’t know if that kind of encounter would happen again. But based on what happened that night, the situation is still hostile and I still need to move behind the shadows.
I’m BATMAN.
Ayun.
posted by tristan at
1:46 AM
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